Brace Yourself

Holy crap, it’s been almost a year since my last post! Sorry to leave everyone hanging. I suppose I got lazy/busy/writer’s blocked, but still. No excuses.

It’s now nearly Thanksgiving, and Christmas is just around the corner. I have to say, 2010 is shaping up to be a pretty significant year in the life of yours truly. First, I got engaged (yay!), then I went to the Faroe Islands, in between Denmark and Iceland, for a fashion shoot (woot!), turned 30 (whoa!) and, most recently, got braces (what??).

Since that’s a lot of backstory to cover, I’ll just start with the hot-off-the-presses news: the  braces. As my friends and family can tell you, I’d been waffling over whether to get braces  ever since my pediatric dentist told my parents I needed them (my response was “hell no!” and they didn’t really push it) but could never bring myself to actually go through with it. Ok, so maybe I was just plain chicken, but with various orthodontists giving me lots of different opinions, some of which included doing some major surgery, including breaking my jaw, can you blame me?

Most recently, however, my dentist warned me that because I have a very deep bite, my teeth are badly aligned and already she could see some odd wear-and-tear on some of my molars. She referred me to an orthodontist just down the street from me, who turned out to be AWESOME. Not only did he inspire confidence in me, he also had decent prices and a pretty good prognosis: braces for just over a year.

So, in with the braces, out with my ability to eat everything in sight. It’s now day 3 of my orthodontic odyssey and because my diet is now limited pretty much to just liquids for the next two weeks, it’s really made me think about the act of eating. Just an hour after the braces went on, I attempted to eat some chunky chicken soup for lunch, but could only squish the solid chunks on the roof of my mouth before swallowing. Sure, my stomach felt full, but my mind was saying “WTF is this? You call this eating?”

It was a less-than-satisfying experience, let me tell you.

Braces are like speed bumps to the average chowhound–they’re annoying, they’re ugly, and they can really ruin your sh*t if you’re not careful. On the other hand, they make you slow down and actually appreciate how things taste, mainly because you have no choice.

Right now, I can only eat by pureeing the hell out of solid foods and pouring it down my throat, teaspoonful by excruciating teaspoonful. Which is unfortunate, considering that Thanksgiving is next week and I’ll probably be sitting in the corner, crying into my butternut squash soup while everyone gorges themselves on turkey and all the trimmings (dammit). I wonder how turkey, cranberry sauce, gravy, mashed potatoes and stuffing would taste after a swirl in the blender?

At first, I would each just whatever came to mind and would fill me up–tapioca pudding, cottage cheese, yogurt, hummus, applesauce mashed with ripe bananas, smoothies, mashed potatoes, even tuna salad–but a girl can only take so much of eating to fill herself up instead of actually enjoying what she’s eating.

At least I’m starting to  really appreciate the art of soup. For example, tonight, I made some deleeecious mushroom soup from Anthony Bourdain’s Les Halles cookboook, as well as some potato-leek soup,  both pureed to oblivion thanks to my trusty Cuisinart 2-in-1 blender/processor.

By the time I get these bad boys off my teeth, the Soup Nazi will have nuthin’ on me, for real.

1 Comment

Filed under Random musings

One response to “Brace Yourself

  1. Will need full details on the fashion shoot. Thank you.

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